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Why I prefer Japanese Food
After seeing what some people in China are willing to feed to human babies, it’s no wonder that so many animals in China are going the way of Blinky the 3-eyed fish on the Simpsons. Now I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but I gotta admit that the animals on this list kinda make me want to opt for some other kind of food.
6. The Seven-Legged Frog
I bet this little guy can jump really really far. I’m not sure if this frog is the result of an active Chinese effort to produce frog legs more efficiently, or if he’s just a one-in-a-billion accident. Whatever the case, little Qiqi here (that’s what I’ve named him) certainly proves that it isn’t especially easy being green — especially in Red China.
5. The 3-Legged Duck
I love Peking Duck. It’s by far my favorite Chinese food. Or at least, it used to be before I saw this po’ bastard. No word on whatever happened to this little guy, but word on the street is he landed a part time job in a photo studio somewhere in downtown Shanghai.
4. The Two-Faced Pig
Have you ever held two mirrors together edge to edge, and then slanted them to see what you could make your reflection look like? Well, I bet it would be totally mind blowing if this pig tried that.
3. The Two-Headed Turtle
This one is actually kind of cool because unlike the rest of the freaks on this list, this guy can actually pass for a normal turtle by sucking one of his heads into his shell. In keeping with the 7-legged frog, Statler and Waldorf here are further proof that it’s really tough being a reptile in the middle kingdom.
2. The Giant Rat
This is the most recent Chinese mutant to make the list. Apparently he is still in captivity down in Fujian province, being held prisoner by a man named Xian.
**UPDATE** This just in. Reports out of Fujian say that the giant rat has just been broken out of his holding cell by four equally giant Chinese turtles, who used some unknown form of martial art to fight off the cell guards. They were last seen headed for Beijing and were overheard saying, “Master Splinter! Statler and Waldorf are in trouble!”
The Newfie-in-the-know, the Pandasteak himself... From the rocky cold shores of Eastern Canada to the rocky cold shores of Dalian - Rick brings some small-town wit and insight to the Lost Laowai blog. He can now be found in Japan where he begins every sentence with "When I was in China..."
what a big world,huh…
seems nothing is impossible in this nation
more heads/feet = more food = profit!
oh my god i think i threw up a little when i saw the monkey faced pig.
there r some amusing and amazing portraying about these creatures in several Han han’s works. i ll translate them for u after my coming exam s done.
Awesome finds, though I’d dare anyone to wolf down the mutant frog. It probably tastes just like chicken. Did they find that near some Candu nuclear reactor water overflow pond? How about civet cats, the ones that started SARS that then migrated to Canada?
I think I’ll become vegetarian.
i like think this is total nasty like honestly gross like maybe its a disease WHY IN THE WORLD GROSS wowwwwwwwwwwwwww
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww frogs 7 legs monkey pig wow
feakin awsome
Okay, I’ll be the geek that says it: the teenage mutant ninja turtles were Japanese, not Chinese. This in response to the “master splinter” posting.
Ah, they were very-much American. Master Splinter was likely Japanese, as is, of course, Ninjitsu. But the turtles were definitely Made in the USA.
Either way, it was in reference to the size of the rat, not the nation it was found in
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG well there special god made them that way we should love them.