I’m the new jerk! Fink, a Laowai who is most definitely Lost without a road map, currently wandering through the streets of Shanghai. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Pleasantries out of the way, shall we begin? Have a seat in my internets. As I assure most of my companions, my performance will be brief.

For my inaugural post, I’ve chosen to serve up fare slightly less shallow than what I’m traditionally known for. Not to worry, I assure you it still involves plenty of chauvinism and  arrogance. I consider them motifs which become stronger and more viable with repetition.

I want to complain about Chinese girls.

Or maybe it’s just Shanghai girls. I’d like to claim expertise on the subject of ladies, and I will. Granted my claim holds no merit as I am actually completely lost when it comes to the fairer sex; this does not stop me from claiming it. I think this should count for something.

I’d be lying to you if I said this topic was original, or that it has yet to be addressed properly. To a certain extent, it has. I’m ranting here purely because it’s on my mind, and I want to hear what people not in glossy Shanghai have to say. (That’s me politely commanding you to leave a comment. I require approval from the masses just as most of you require oxygen.)

There is a stigma, I’m sure most of you will concur, that the young male foreigners in China are “playboys”. I put this in quotes not because it means something different here than it normally does, but because I hear it constantly, and I am quite literally quoting the masses. I’m not sure exactly how this phrase became so widespread (back home we prefer “man-whore”), but almost everywhere I see this topic discussed, I see this word magically appear as if summoned by an unseen hand.

Back to the discussion…

I hoped we would be past this by now. I hoped that we were in the information age, and that people would have, you know, information.

My hopes have been crushed.

And they are repeatedly crushed with every new encounter involving a nice young Chinese lass. In almost all cases (I generally don’t find out until later though), as soon as I say I’m from The States it is assumed I am here for the sole purpose of… ahem… ‘dating’ – as many girls as possible.

Already I’m sure a good portion of you reading this are assuming I spend most of my time at clubs so drunk that I’m confused as to why my hair has gone completely numb. You’re right, but it’s most of my time, not all of it. So believe me when I say that the issue exists outside of the drunken stupor I call ‘the weekend’. I assume that like most stereotypes, this one finds it’s origins somewhat rooted in truth. Understandable, there’s a lot of jackasses out here. My biggest issue is not that this is the first impression I give, but almost always the final one. I am completely unable to persuade public opinion that while I am a raging alcoholic who genuinely believes he is of divine descent, that I do not wake up in a different bed with each new day.

Stereotypes take time to break down, I understand that. But I don’t consider myself to be dealing with ignorant or conditioned people; they’re almost exclusively young and imaginative. I suppose it could be an issue with my pool of data, that any girl who would even take the time to talk with a foreigner is already assuming (and seeking) this type. I hope this is not the case.

Then again, I’ve hoped before. We saw what happened there.

This does not stop me from hoping though. Here I hope to get comments on this post. Mainly to feed my ego. After I’m done feasting though, perhaps I can scavenge some insight from a new audience (a China wide one) on why this is, if it’s a Shanghai specific issue, or if I’m just doing it wrong.

Still, if this post can be used as an indicator, I like talking about myself more than anything else which could possibly be of service to humanity. And I love servicing. There is, because of this, the distinct possibility that I’m also not giving these lady-friends of mine a chance to get to know me. This should be any woman’s right/privilege. But you reader, if you cared at all about me, you wouldn’t already be planning your snide comment about how I probably really am a playboy posting here to try to pull the proverbial wool over some nice lady’s eyes.

Thanks for blowing my cover.

~fink