Comments on: What to do when your Chinese ex-wife runs away with your child? http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/ No-nonsense China Expat & Travel Community Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:53:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: sascha http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-17895 sascha Sun, 06 Jun 2010 05:11:59 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-17895 This is absolutely correct. There is a lot of discussion on our site as well about Dual Citizenship, but if the child has an American Passport and gets an Exit Visa from China, leaves and comes back on an L visa, then he/she is American period and goes through the visa process just like any other foreigner here. This is absolutely correct. There is a lot of discussion on our site as well about Dual Citizenship, but if the child has an American Passport and gets an Exit Visa from China, leaves and comes back on an L visa, then he/she is American period and goes through the visa process just like any other foreigner here.

]]> By: Alan http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-17811 Alan Tue, 01 Jun 2010 07:11:13 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-17811 Hi Abby...take your bitter western bitch attitude someplace else. Hi Abby…take your bitter western bitch attitude someplace else.

]]> By: Alan http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-17810 Alan Tue, 01 Jun 2010 07:09:54 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-17810 Nice reply....now go crawl back into your hole like the snake you are. You don't belong in the human race. Nice reply….now go crawl back into your hole like the snake you are. You don’t belong in the human race.

]]> By: Jay (a different one) http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-15449 Jay (a different one) Sun, 07 Feb 2010 07:11:30 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-15449 I can't believe how stupid people can be, or actually, I can believe how stupid people can be but can't really relate to the levels of stupidity observed. Before you decide to have children (or decide to screw but not have children or even just go to a bar and have a drink and end up accidentally having kids anyway -- shit happens) you should do your research. This includes finding out about such things as what rules apply (from your country's gov't, your partner's country gov't and possibly the country where the deed takes place, if applicable -- refer to the actual government/consulate/law and do not rely on stories/advice on blawgs). In most cases, the rules are quite clear and unpleasant surprises can be avoided. Usually, if you are married, the choice of citizenship is yours -- either Chinese (get a Chinese ID) or Foreign (get a Foreign passport) but generally not both. You may indeed need to 'formalize' your choice by actually using the passport, but this is offset against not being subject to police razzia and fines for not having registered your kid within 72 hours like in some 'free' countries -- it is all fairly laid-back in China. There are exceptions, e.g. Maroccans are such for life, without choice. Different rules apply to un-married parents. For example, if a Dutch man impregnates a non-Dutch girl and report this to the Dutch authorities *before* birth, the kid can get a Dutch passport easily, whereas *after* birth it is virtually impossible, with adoption rules becoming in effect (and you have to be holier than the pope to qualify for adoption, even of your 'own' kid). In other countries, other rules apply. Research also includes finding out if your partner digs you as a person or just your wallet (or your private parts as the case may be). Use your imagination, e.g. stiff her with the bill a few times, or treat him to ugg-boots, tampax and your mother. If her/his behavior changes for the worse, maybe keep looking. Having done all your research and taken all the steps, shit happens sometimes, in China just like anyplace else. (Cute) kids may look like cute kids to you, but to some degenerates they look like big, walking "easy money, come and get me" signs. They do so everywhere. In places like Europe the number of degenerates is much higher (both in kids trade and D.I.Y. perverts), but this is compensated by the 'market' being much larger too, so the chance that your kid gets snatched is still pretty low. In (some parts of) China, the big walking "easy money" sign is adorned with sirens and flashing lights, alerting the less numerous degenerates to their path to riches. Laowei kids are much more portable and valuable than Santana cars, for example. Not much to do here but be careful. In case you do suffer from kidnapping, either from 'professionals' or disgruntled family members, step one is go to the authorities (all of them), file reports and so on (but don't stand there shouting at officials who don't produce your child instantly, they may not be able to and don't want to help if you piss them off). Step two is to get on TV and tell your story, bawl if you can, and importantly, offer unspecified large sums of cash for the safe return of your kid. To substantiate the offer of cash, you may need to get a haircut, shave and buy some non-backpacker cloths. Obviously. You can work with the authorities to arrange for the apprehension of kidnappers coming to claim their prize, unless of course they have made a donation to the 'ball', in which case you're screwed. However, in this case we're talking minute chances. Sorry for your loss, and sorry I can't be of any help (as a father, I do emphatize). Mostly, however, prevention is better than any cure and you are responsible for that, i.e. grow a pair. Really...! I can’t believe how stupid people can be, or actually, I can believe how stupid people can be but can’t really relate to the levels of stupidity observed.
Before you decide to have children (or decide to screw but not have children or even just go to a bar and have a drink and end up accidentally having kids anyway — shit happens) you should do your research. This includes finding out about such things as what rules apply (from your country’s gov’t, your partner’s country gov’t and possibly the country where the deed takes place, if applicable — refer to the actual government/consulate/law and do not rely on stories/advice on blawgs). In most cases, the rules are quite clear and unpleasant surprises can be avoided. Usually, if you are married, the choice of citizenship is yours — either Chinese (get a Chinese ID) or Foreign (get a Foreign passport) but generally not both. You may indeed need to ‘formalize’ your choice by actually using the passport, but this is offset against not being subject to police razzia and fines for not having registered your kid within 72 hours like in some ‘free’ countries — it is all fairly laid-back in China. There are exceptions, e.g. Maroccans are such for life, without choice. Different rules apply to un-married parents. For example, if a Dutch man impregnates a non-Dutch girl and report this to the Dutch authorities *before* birth, the kid can get a Dutch passport easily, whereas *after* birth it is virtually impossible, with adoption rules becoming in effect (and you have to be holier than the pope to qualify for adoption, even of your ‘own’ kid). In other countries, other rules apply.
Research also includes finding out if your partner digs you as a person or just your wallet (or your private parts as the case may be). Use your imagination, e.g. stiff her with the bill a few times, or treat him to ugg-boots, tampax and your mother. If her/his behavior changes for the worse, maybe keep looking.
Having done all your research and taken all the steps, shit happens sometimes, in China just like anyplace else. (Cute) kids may look like cute kids to you, but to some degenerates they look like big, walking “easy money, come and get me” signs. They do so everywhere. In places like Europe the number of degenerates is much higher (both in kids trade and D.I.Y. perverts), but this is compensated by the ‘market’ being much larger too, so the chance that your kid gets snatched is still pretty low. In (some parts of) China, the big walking “easy money” sign is adorned with sirens and flashing lights, alerting the less numerous degenerates to their path to riches. Laowei kids are much more portable and valuable than Santana cars, for example. Not much to do here but be careful.
In case you do suffer from kidnapping, either from ‘professionals’ or disgruntled family members, step one is go to the authorities (all of them), file reports and so on (but don’t stand there shouting at officials who don’t produce your child instantly, they may not be able to and don’t want to help if you piss them off). Step two is to get on TV and tell your story, bawl if you can, and importantly, offer unspecified large sums of cash for the safe return of your kid. To substantiate the offer of cash, you may need to get a haircut, shave and buy some non-backpacker cloths. Obviously. You can work with the authorities to arrange for the apprehension of kidnappers coming to claim their prize, unless of course they have made a donation to the ‘ball’, in which case you’re screwed. However, in this case we’re talking minute chances.
Sorry for your loss, and sorry I can’t be of any help (as a father, I do emphatize).
Mostly, however, prevention is better than any cure and you are responsible for that, i.e. grow a pair. Really…!

]]> By: naive http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-14923 naive Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:13:22 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-14923 it is not ment to push you down, it is ment to push you forward and to fight. you sound quite desüerated which is understandable. just wanna inject some agression/action in you, because with nice words you wont solve this problem of yours. your wife is not good person and chinese. good luck dude, you will make it. it is not ment to push you down, it is ment to push you forward and to fight. you sound quite desüerated which is understandable. just wanna inject some agression/action in you, because with nice words you wont solve this problem of yours. your wife is not good person and chinese. good luck dude, you will make it.

]]> By: FRANCISC DE LA CRUZ http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-14907 FRANCISC DE LA CRUZ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:34:11 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-14907 don't talk bullshit wow look I lost my son the consulate did shit they told they saw the baby but did not even send me a photo they want me to file formal abduction charges for what that only means she would have to travel then what? I came here for advice what I get is be a man well what does that mean go there kill everyone who get in the way then what ? don’t talk bullshit wow
look I lost my son the consulate did shit they told they saw the baby but did not even send me a photo they want me to file formal abduction charges for what that only means she would have to travel then what? I came here for advice what I get is be a man

well what does that mean go there kill everyone who get in the way then what ?

]]> By: Lestere http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-14750 Lestere Fri, 30 Oct 2009 17:40:26 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-14750 It's a sad fact sometimes that what Mama says daughter usually does, even if she doesn't like the result. Sorry for your problems Francisco. It’s a sad fact sometimes that what Mama says daughter usually does, even if she doesn’t like the result. Sorry for your problems Francisco.

]]> By: naive_north_americans http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-14736 naive_north_americans Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:04:59 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-14736 dont talk bullshit! be a man! then just wait..i was in the army (not the american one, but doesnt matter) and we learnt: If there is no strategic military option, it is better to do nothing". But you have options. So wait, if you prefer to wait, but keep building your action strategy just in case. RYAN: Say something here as being the webmaster. This guy seems very desperate. We could need another opinion/view here. Francisco: be a man and fight. Life is a fight! You will make it. dont talk bullshit! be a man! then just wait..i was in the army (not the american one, but doesnt matter) and we learnt: If there is no strategic military option, it is better to do nothing”. But you have options. So wait, if you prefer to wait, but keep building your action strategy just in case.

RYAN: Say something here as being the webmaster. This guy seems very desperate. We could need another opinion/view here.

Francisco: be a man and fight. Life is a fight! You will make it.

]]> By: FRANCISC DE LA CRUZ http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-14711 FRANCISC DE LA CRUZ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:56:03 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-14711 she is not my ex-wife. she is still my wife. the only person i have ever been happy with. we were married then I got laid off things were hard she did not understand why I was sad all the time to her I was giving her mean face her mother came and things happened not bad things but arguing and allot of misunderstanding dcf got involved and they made it worse by telling her she was being a brat this made her feel she has no rights in great usa she told me if I love her to let her go to china with our son on the 19th of oct because I love her and she never lies I said ok they have been there now 5 days they have cut off all communication I am scared if I do something and she is just trying to prove something then I can make it come true if I do nothing and she is planning this then I have lost she and our child was my last chance at happiness if she is away from her mother we can talk but now I don't know and I am scared the us embassy said they would go to the house if I give them the passport # I never wrote it down you all have to understand I love her I love our son please don't be so harsh I don't know what to do I just got a new job and I have spent 2 out of my first 5 days in the hospital I am scared and don't know what to do they have left one e-mail channel open but I get no response I want to die it is all my fault I should not have flown in and out of Washington to get here I should not have done all I did these things caused me to lose a good job cause I was not at work now I have a good job working for a good company we could have a happy life again you see I trust her but I am losing hope today I tide a rope to a tree on my property I asked my dead mother to give me a sighed I looked up at the sky and a cloud was the shape of a little flying dragon I believe my mother is telling me to trust her and wait until the 19 of nov. but then I find out the closed out my qq account this is a means I can communicate with her so like I said I am very scared so scared she is not my ex-wife. she is still my wife. the only person i have ever been happy with.
we were married then I got laid off things were hard she did not understand why I was sad all the time to her I was giving her mean face her mother came and things happened not bad things but arguing and allot of misunderstanding dcf got involved and they made it worse by telling her she was being a brat this made her feel she has no rights in great usa she told me if I love her to let her go to china with our son on the 19th of oct because I love her and she never lies I said ok they have been there now 5 days they have cut off all communication I am scared if I do something and she is just trying to prove something then I can make it come true if I do nothing and she is planning this then I have lost she and our child was my last chance at happiness if she is away from her mother we can talk but now I don’t know and I am scared the us embassy said they would go to the house if I give them the passport # I never wrote it down you all have to understand I love her I love our son please don’t be so harsh I don’t know what to do I just got a new job and I have spent 2 out of my first 5 days in the hospital I am scared and don’t know what to do they have left one e-mail channel open but I get no response I want to die it is all my fault I should not have flown in and out of Washington to get here I should not have done all I did these things caused me to lose a good job cause I was not at work now I have a good job working for a good company we could have a happy life again you see I trust her but I am losing hope today I tide a rope to a tree on my property I asked my dead mother to give me a sighed I looked up at the sky and a cloud was the shape of a little flying dragon I believe my mother is telling me to trust her and wait until the 19 of nov. but then I find out the closed out my qq account this is a means I can communicate with her so like I said I am very scared so scared

]]> By: naive_north_americans http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/expat-stuff/warnings/what-to-do-when-your-chinese-ex-wife-runs-away-with-your-child/#comment-14708 naive_north_americans Sat, 24 Oct 2009 07:16:43 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/?p=1349#comment-14708 francisco, are you spaniard? or mexican, south american, usa-citizen? direct and hard words to wake u up dude: are you kidding here? i cant believe the questions u ask. YOU are his passport. you got my meaning? u have somethign to proove that u r the father right? birth certificate, whatever, there is something and get to ur embassy, interior ministry, police, lawyer whatever. do something or do you want that your son to "enjoys" the "precious" chinese education in china and by his grandparents any longer. poor you. if your son lived with you outside china your ex wife is a criminal kidnapper. do something now, or you wont see ur son anymore. francisco, are you spaniard? or mexican, south american, usa-citizen?

direct and hard words to wake u up dude:

are you kidding here? i cant believe the questions u ask. YOU are his passport. you got my meaning? u have somethign to proove that u r the father right? birth certificate, whatever, there is something and get to ur embassy, interior ministry, police, lawyer whatever. do something or do you want that your son to “enjoys” the “precious” chinese education in china and by his grandparents any longer. poor you. if your son lived with you outside china your ex wife is a criminal kidnapper. do something now, or you wont see ur son anymore.

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