With us expats in China deep into the country’s chilly months, perhaps we’re a little late for these tips – but none the less, here’s a bit of advice for anyone currently reading this with gloves on.

Now, quite obviously these don’t apply to big-salary expats that are living in apartments with floor-heating and double-glazed windows. But for the rest of us poor whelps that frequently get blown over by the drafts running through our apartments, some of these might help.

1. Long Underwear

long underwearAh, few things say “winter in China” better than long johns. As any laowai with Chinese spouses will tell you, long underwear is an essential garment of clothing the minute a cool breeze begins to blow through the country.

And what is largely just a joke for us expats, is actually worn for good reason in China – the heating sucks. This extra layer of clothing does an amazing job of helping keep your heat in and the draft out. For the few kuai it costs, this is high up on our list of ‘staying warm solutions’. Plus it gives you bonus “like-a-local” points that you’re welcome to pompously hold over other laowai’s heads.

Note: dancing around the apartment in nothing but long johns is frowned upon.

2. Clean your filters

airfilters.jpgIf you’re lucky enough to be in an apartment that has wall-mounted, or floor-based heater/air conditioners then you’re a step up from a number of places I’ve lived. However, you may have noticed that the output from these magic boxes of climate control blows… or rather doesn’t at all.

The trickle of sweet heat that should be warming your home is barely enough to warm your hands while pressed right up against the oscillating flaps. Though it’s very possible that your unit is of poor quality (QC being what it is in this country) and just plain doesn’t work, before you throw it seven floors to its doom, check its filters.

Most, if not all, of these units contain reusable air-filters that understandably get mucked up from sucking in China’s high-quality air on a continual basis. Simply lift the cover of the unit and you should easily be able to slide out the filter. Give it a good spray-down in your shower or sink, let it dry and reinsert.

Note: drawing comparisons between the dirty air filter and your lungs will only make you feel sad.

3. Sleep on a fire hazard

electricblanket.jpgI remember as a kid we used to have a couple electric blankets around the house. I’m not sure if it was better insulation or reports of people burning in their sleep that made them disappear over the years – but man are they handy on a cold winter night in China.

“Blanket” is a bit of a misnomer when it comes to the types most commonly found in Chinese supermarkets, “mat” would be a better term for it. But this less-than-100-kuai solution will assure you sleep cozily while the rest of the room toys with sub-zero temperatures. Switch it on an hour before bed and it’ll make that hard Chinese mattress almost inviting.

Note: Don’t forget to turn it off in the morning – burning down your apartment is a sure way to increase the wintery discomfort of your home.

4. Drink more hot water

teathermos.jpgArg, I cringe every time I hear it. Sick? “Drink more hot water.” Cold? “Drink more hot water.” Thirsty? “Drink more hot water.” Stub your toe? “Drink more hot water.” I swear next to “Helloooo”, it’s the only English phrase some Chinese know.

However, if you’re sitting in a chilly apartment, few things will warm you up quicker than, sigh, drinking more hot water. What’s more, if you throw your heated beverage into one of those little glass tea thermoses, not only do you get bonus like-a-local points, you’ve got an impromptu hot water bottle.

Note: Advising others to ‘drink more hot water’ will get you unliked amongst your friends. Admit it, you like me just a little bit less because of it.

5. Fuzzy Foot Bunnies

bunny-slippers.jpgCome summer, I unabashedly run around my apartment barefoot out of sheer spite to the ancient Chinese tradition of wearing tacky thongs in the house. Much to the frustration of my Chinese wife, it just never sat well with me wearing – what are in any other country – shoes in the house. My momma raised me better than that.

However, when flip flops switch to soft, warm slippers in autumn, I couldn’t be happier to don the domestic footwear. What I had previously thought were reserved for small children and grandparents, have now become part of my arsenal in fighting China’s cold winters.

Note: Wearing actual fuzzy bunnies on your feet may cause unintentional squeaking while walking.

So there it is – my Lost Laowai guide to keeping your expat ass warm here in the Middle Kingdom. Please share your own remedies below. Be warned, however, that any rich “I get danger isolation pay for working in this country” expats bragging about their apartment’s amazing heating systems will immediately be ridiculed and asked to kindly fuck off (out of envy, not spite, mind you).

Discussion

16
  1. Great post, Ryan. I love it. I have one suggestion that comes from growing up in the cold winters of northern New England: Never underestimate the warming powers of a good hat. While slightly more prosaic than the wearing of live animals to warm one’s feet, whether walking around town or winter camping a good hat can make a big difference.

    It’s a hard sell to my Chinese friends who assure me that the feet are far more important than the head. I try to refrain from responding with the the obvious comment.

  2. Hi Ryan

    I agree with Jeremiah about the hat — or Toque for all the Canucks — it’s essential. The other tip I found is finding an apartment with doors that properly close. As you said in your post, this can be tough because most apartments skimp on quality when it comes to windows and doors. But if it comes down to the apartment with the big living room and ones where the doors close go for the ones where the door closes. You can at least cut down on the draft and the room will stay much warmer.

    Just my tip which I only learned after living here for nearly four years.

    J.

  3. Cheers guys, I also agree that a hat is a fantastic way to retain heat (something like 30% of heat-loss is through the head). My only reluctance in including it was that I set out to make a list that didn’t allow for outside winter-wear to be worn indoors. No hats, gloves or winter coats. It pisses me off when I’ve got the heater on full (sucking RMB right out of my wallet) and my wife’s got her coat on… personal pet peeve I guess.

    Solid advice about doors too. Seems arbitrary, especially if you’re moving in the warmer months, but really essential (windows that close are also key haha). Even with nice modern windows in my office, I still feel a strong draft under the window’s frame – honestly, how costly is it to spring for some insulation when stickin’ the building together?

  4. Pingback: The China Expat » Chinese New Year Warnings

  5. Yeah, no heating in my place, big gaps at the windows, so live in the bedroom with one of those oil radiator type heater things. It eats electric though 🙁 I also drink hot water, have the obligatory flasky thing, wear longjohns and big fluffy slippers (but I LIKE big fluffy slippers!)

    Chinese rice porridge is pretty good. Just stick some rice in your rice cooker/and or pan… put about double the amount of water in you normally would and you get a gloopy rice porridge. Throw in some dates and brown sugar (or whatever you like). Easy and toasty warm.

    I also have a hot water bottle which I love (as I’m terrified of electric blankets, even in the UK). It has yellow dogs on flying saucers on it, warm and surreal at the same time 🙂

    Only one phrase more prevelant here than the hot water one: 多穿点儿衣服… put more clothes on!

  6. Great tips- I only have one more to add:

    To cut down on drafts coming through the windows, grab some cheap plastic shower curtains from your local supermarket and hang them between the window and the curtain- the ones with the C-shaped hooks are best if you have an actual curtain rod on your windows then you can just clip the shower curtain on to the rod; otherwise try pinning them on with safety pins. The plastic stops the draft and cuts down on the amount of cold seeping through the glass.
    I know it sounds bizarre but it works! Oh, and if you can’t find any neutral colours, your neighbours will be none-the-less be impressed by the flowers and turtles and yellow ducks hanging in the window.

  7. The root of the problem is a combination of 1)no insulation and 2)”gongnuan” soviet style radiation. For all the effort gone into piling clothes upon clothes upon bodies, you’d think somebody would be smart enough to stick some insulation in the walls here. And don’t get me started on the “public radiators”. They’re crap! This year, my wife made us buy a slightly larger radiator to replace the POS sitting next to the window in our room (Why would anybody put a radiator next to a window???). Rather than go for the 200 kuai electric heater fan that can be moved wherever you want in the house, we opted for a 1200 kuai radiator. That is still next to the window. Oh, and every few days we open the windows in polluted beijing in the dead of winter to “get fresh air”. Someone shoot me, please.

  8. @Tam: As much as I HATE zhou, you make it sound kinda good. 😉

    @Lou: Sweet suggestion – though I’m betting it kills all hope of having natural lighting eh?

    @Chip: That fucking “fresh air” thing slays me. I’ve virtually got frostbite on my extremities and the missus is opening windows. I tell ‘er if she wants fresh air she can go outside, just for god’s sake let whatever heat we’ve managed to accumulate indoors stay where it is. She ignores me.

  9. My tip is (modified ;-)) ladies tights under the long johns, of which I am commanded to wear two sets by ‘er indoors.

    Angel is now unfreezing snow because we haven’t had any water for over 24 hours.

    -24c tonight if we’re lucky….

  10. That is why you’re cold: no pants!

    Ya, ya, I am in the same breezy living room…sigh…

    I am here on the Tropic of Cancer and–no shit–I am wearing three shirts, a sweater and three sets of polyester and wool socks that I am holding close enough to the space heater (the ones in Guangzhou aren’t strong enough to warm a toilet seat) I am assured of a melt-down…

    At least I am not a migrant at the station cutting in line to get ahead in the wait for an imaginary train…

    I need to go: time to jog in place and then put Tiger Balm in my underpants…

  11. OK, here’s one for when you have to go outside for any length of time. U get a cheap hair drier and blow hot air into your boots for a while. It really works… I hope you brought boots big enough to support 3 layers of socks, and those knee socks over the long johns are nice too!

  12. My Chinese flatmate always tell me to buy one of those furry slippers but I always decline. One time in the supermarket, I was cornered by him and his girlfriend so I didn’t have a choice but to buy one. Luckily, it really helped me in fighting the cold not to mention it’s more comfortable wearing them instead of my shoes.

    By the way, I’m trying to sign up here with the link below right but the page is not found. Isn’t blocked by the “China Great Wall?”

  13. Luckily I live in Guilin. It doesn’ t get that cold here. Still, a pair of long johns is the best weapon against the cold…and my wall-to-wall bookshelves insulating my working room from the outside world (cost a fortune getting the books here, but its definitly worth it)

  14. I should be doing a post about how to stay “cool” now… but that book idea is a good one. We’re fortunate here in Suzhou that we’ve a good English-language bookshop, maybe they could hook me up with a bulk of books before next winter.

  15. Yeah, a good English-language bookshop is really missing here. Does your bookshop have a web-address? Perhaps they deliver to Guilin. Would be cheaper than the amazon and better than the crap you get over dangdang

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