Comments on: In Defense of Your Er Nai, by: the male ego http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/ The no-nonsense China expat and traveller community. Tue, 07 Oct 2008 02:49:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: blue http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9782 blue Sun, 04 May 2008 12:15:26 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/commentary/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9782 what is the equivalent expression for women who have been cheated ...haha good question but hard to answer. if s woman has been green capped, she is the "abandoned wife (qi fu)".Emm,we can call her man"Chen Shimei" hope this will not get you confused:-) what is the equivalent expression for women who have been cheated …haha good question but hard to answer.
if s woman has been green capped, she is the “abandoned wife (qi fu)”.Emm,we can call her man”Chen Shimei”
hope this will not get you confused:-)

]]> By: Lauren http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9743 Lauren Sat, 03 May 2008 02:29:33 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/commentary/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9743 Hi 里: Thanks for your comment. I didn't intend to be bitter. I think given the fact that so many Chinese marry for "practical" reasons that it's normal for affairs to happen - people look elsewhere for romantic love, and society basically accepts it, or at least looks the other way. I still tried to be humorous about it, but guess that didn't come through. And no, I am not planning to leave China, since there are a lot of things I like about it. My own faithful husband, for one. As a foreigner, though, sometimes one needs to rant about the differences one sees. Hi 里: Thanks for your comment. I didn’t intend to be bitter. I think given the fact that so many Chinese marry for “practical” reasons that it’s normal for affairs to happen - people look elsewhere for romantic love, and society basically accepts it, or at least looks the other way. I still tried to be humorous about it, but guess that didn’t come through.

And no, I am not planning to leave China, since there are a lot of things I like about it. My own faithful husband, for one. As a foreigner, though, sometimes one needs to rant about the differences one sees.

]]> By: 里 http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9602 里 Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:49:42 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/commentary/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9602 Wow, why so bitter? Maybe you can manyfacture enough indignation to state that once you leave China, you'll never go back there, either. You will leave such an amoral place, right? BTW, if all Chinese you know have such marriage, that says more about the people you attract - and you - than China. Just guess since I probably know China quite well, maybe moreso than you? Wow, why so bitter? Maybe you can manyfacture enough indignation to state that once you leave China, you’ll never go back there, either. You will leave such an amoral place, right?

BTW, if all Chinese you know have such marriage, that says more about the people you attract - and you - than China. Just guess since I probably know China quite well, maybe moreso than you?

]]> By: Lauren http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9567 Lauren Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:28:33 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/commentary/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9567 Hi all, thanks for the comments. Now that you mention it, Ben and Ryan, you're right, green caps are only for men, aren't they? My apology for the oversight. But in that case, my next question is, what is the equivalent expression for women who have been cheated on? If there is none, that could add weight to Tam's observation that "it's not being unfaithful" for a man to have a mistress. And thankfully, this post comes not from some traumatic personal experience, but just from being bothered/fascinated by the ernai phenomenon. Hi all, thanks for the comments. Now that you mention it, Ben and Ryan, you’re right, green caps are only for men, aren’t they? My apology for the oversight. But in that case, my next question is, what is the equivalent expression for women who have been cheated on? If there is none, that could add weight to Tam’s observation that “it’s not being unfaithful” for a man to have a mistress.

And thankfully, this post comes not from some traumatic personal experience, but just from being bothered/fascinated by the ernai phenomenon.

]]> By: Tam http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9565 Tam Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:16:03 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/commentary/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9565 Lauren... nice to see your post, with it's different angle. A 30+ year old Chinese male friend told me every guy he knows has one, but that it's not being unfaithful. I have also been introduced to a married Chinese female friend's "qing ren", who is apparently richer and more endowed with "wen hua" than her husband. I felt kind of odd meeting her husband after that... but assume, on balance, he's also got his "er nai". Lauren… nice to see your post, with it’s different angle. A 30+ year old Chinese male friend told me every guy he knows has one, but that it’s not being unfaithful. I have also been introduced to a married Chinese female friend’s “qing ren”, who is apparently richer and more endowed with “wen hua” than her husband. I felt kind of odd meeting her husband after that… but assume, on balance, he’s also got his “er nai”.

]]> By: Ryan http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9554 Ryan Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:55:58 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/commentary/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9554 Ben's right, but cool post. What was the inspiration? Nothing too personal I hope. :-) Ben’s right, but cool post. What was the inspiration? Nothing too personal I hope. :-)

]]> By: Ben http://www.lostlaowai.com/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9548 Ben Sun, 20 Apr 2008 14:25:28 +0000 http://www.lostlaowai.com/commentary/blog/2008/04/20/in-defense-of-your-er-nai-by-the-male-ego/#comment-9548 You do realize that “worn the green cap” is the situation when a man's wife is having extracurricular activity, not when a man having one ? You do realize that “worn the green cap” is the situation when a man’s wife is having extracurricular activity, not when a man having one ?

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