DeparturesThis could be you: You’re in your late 20s and have lived in China pretty much since you graduated from college. Like everyone else, you started off as an English teacher but gradually moved on to other work, learning pretty decent Chinese in the process. And while you like living in China and consider it a second home, you’re beginning to think about moving on. For one thing, Mom and Dad are asking how much longer you’re going to stay there. You broke up with your significant other and you’re single again. And you’re thinking that with the lousy economy it might not be a bad idea to go back to school, pick up a Masters, and reassess your options in a couple of years.

As you probably have guessed, this hypothetical guy described above was me. As of the end of July, I am no longer a laowai, but rather an ex-laowai. Or, if the term ‘ex’ has too permanent and negative a connotation, I am a laowai emeritus. A laowai in exile.

DeparturesThis could be you: You’re in your late 20s and have lived in China pretty much since you graduated from college. Like everyone else, you started off as an English teacher but gradually moved on to other work, learning pretty decent Chinese in the process. And while you like living in China and consider it a second home, you’re beginning to think about moving on. For one thing, Mom and Dad are asking how much longer you’re going to stay there. You broke up with your significant other and you’re single again. And you’re thinking that with the lousy economy it might not be a bad idea to go back to school, pick up a Masters, and reassess your options in a couple of years.

As you probably have guessed, this hypothetical guy described above was me. As of the end of July, I am no longer a laowai, but rather an ex-laowai. Or, if the term ‘ex’ has too permanent and negative a connotation, I am a laowai emeritus. A laowai in exile.

You get the idea.  For the past seven weeks I have been back in my native US, here in New York City beginning my Masters at Columbia University.

To a person who has never lived outside of his home country, the rigors of reverse culture shock can be difficult to understand. But like a lot of expats I approached the prospect of going home with some trepidation. On previous, short visits home in the past I had always felt a little out of sorts, never knowing how to convey my lifestyle to people who couldn’t imagine it.  I was afraid that these nagging difficulties would amplify once I returned home full-time.

On the contrary, my return home has gone far more smoothly than I was expecting. There are certainly moments when I miss China like an old friend, but for the most part I’ve been pleased with how things have been going. Granted, living in the pressure cooker of New York has kept me too busy to be overly sentimental. But all things considered, with the caveat that it’s only been two months, I feel like I have a few words of wisdom to offer those of you thinking of making a similar jump to mine.

1. Everyone says that having China experience is valuable. Is it true?

Yes and no. Some people assume that just having gone to China to work, in and of itself, will make them employable for life. This certainly isn’t true. Even being able to speak Chinese well is no guarantee for prosperity either unless you want to focus solely on translation. But China is certainly a major buzzword these days, and the country will not become less important anytime soon. Having China experience combined with the language and some other skill (photography, writing, business knowledge, etc) will be immensely valuable. At least I hope so, as this is what I’m banking on!

2. I’ve been home for short stints a few times since moving to China, and I’ve always found it a little weird. Is being home for good just as bad or even worse?

Actually, it’s better. One of the problems with previous visits home for me was its temporary nature; once the initial euphoria of being with friends and family wore off I felt out of place and just wanted to go back to China. This time, I’ve done things people do when they settle in somewhere: I’ve bought a phone. Applied for credit cards. Even got a library card. Having these trappings of a stable, normal life have made it much easier to deal with the transition.

3. Will there be other people around who can relate to my experience?

This depends on what you do when you go home. For me, being in New York and in a grad school program where half of my classmates are foreign has made it extremely easy to meet people who can relate to me. For others, though, it can be difficult. But to be sure, the world has become more globalized- far more people have chosen to live abroad, and far more immigrants have made their way into the West than before. With a little bit of effort I don’t think it’d be difficult to find people who have similar stories to share.

4. Everything seems hunky dory. Have there been any unexpected challenges?

For me, the simple nuts and bolts of living as an adult in the US has proven to be more difficult than I had imagined. For a person a few months shy of 30, I had to learn things people my age normally have down: how to rent a car, how much produce in a grocery store should cost, how to set up online banking, etc. These were things I simply never had to think about, or were completely different in China.  Two years back here should take care of many of these things, but for now this is something I’ve found slightly vexing.

For many of you, I suspect this post might be redundant or irrelevant- either you have no plans to leave China, or you’re sufficiently flexible in both worlds that my advice isn’t needed. For the rest of you, I hope my words of advice on being an ex-laowai might be of some use or even comfort…and after all, when it comes down it you can always renew your Laowai card!

Image by Bentley Smith

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About Matt

Matt spent six years in China, mainly based in the beautiful spring city of Kunming. During that time he worked in consulting, journalism as well as English teaching. Matt studied Chinese for 2+ years and loved exploring the mountains of Yunnan by mountain bike). He now lives in New York City where he is pursuing a Masters in International Affairs at Columbia University.

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Discussion

13
  1. How long did it take for you to get over the feeling that you want to go back? It took more than 3 months for me.
    The world is now so globalized and China is such a hot topic, that actually there is always the possibility to go back there. That’s one of the things that make it difficult to become an ex-laowai to me. Who knows if you’re here for good, or if in 2 years you won’t be offerd to go back?

  2. So weird reading this post it’s scary. I just turned 29 last month, I’ve been in Taiwan for the last 4 and a half years learning Chinese. Getting to the point now were I have to decide wtf I am going to do with my life.
    Debated going back to the UK and doing a masters, but yea.. the economy in the UK isn’t the best now either. Wondering about a job in Asia.. Taipei, Hong Kong, Shanghai.
    Going home for a few weeks at Christmas then planning to come back to Taiwan and get my stuff together and make a move…

  3. Love this! I am a 20-something just looking for an adventure here in China… I’m also thinking about returning to the States/UK for graduate school. I have been terrified about reverse culture shock, but you are right… Wherever I end up going, I’ll be in a program filled with foreigners and/or students with similar experience. Thank you for the optimism 🙂

  4. Remembering the hanzi,

    I would definitely consider going back for the right opportunity, to be sure- I loved living in China. But this isn’t a given, so I thought I’d write my laowai obit now. I had been preparing to leave China for so long, and have been so busy in school that I actually haven’t had time to miss it so much. Perhaps later on I’ll feel more strongly about going back.

  5. Pingback: I can sympathize with this guy… but I am not ready to go back (yet). « mattintw- the BLOG.

  6. There are a few other ex-laowai nearby (I’m one of them). There’s also a Mandarin Monday meetup group near MSG (though it’s not good Chinese food at the restaurant).

  7. Very interesting post! I’m just in the beginning of my journey in China, but still thinking about the future. I will do my BA here, but after that I don’t know. Do I want to work in China or in Finland? What would be the best place to have a family?

    These two countries are so different that if I decide to move back after several years I will need this advice!

  8. Another late 20’s guy here in the same spot – though have prolonged my stay in China by doing a masters thesis here in China (though through an Australian Uni). Would be interesting to hear from guys who have learnt a reasonable amount of Chinese and possibly have a masters on what they got up to post-China – seems like there may be a quite a few out there…

  9. India is the new China. You should go and have some REAL adventures and get into some REAL opportunities. China is done, man. They don’t need any more 20-30 year old expats.

  10. Pingback: Hao Hao Report

  11. Great article, Matt. I completely relate having moved back to the US earlier this year. My biggest shock was one of your points above: my Chinese experience, even my language skills, weren’t much help at all in getting a job. Nobody cared.

    • Josh,

      So what did you end up doing workwise? I am in Manhattan too. Just arrived back in March and find I have such diverse interests in work that it is hard to focus on search. Of course most of us would go back for a worthy opportunity to work in China or anywhere but interested to hear what sort of avenues you have been looking at and or found. Appreciated

  12. Nice piece. A few of us were talking about it–we’re always talking about leaving China but here we still are. One thing Matt doesn’t touch on is different political cultures and atmospheres. So strange to be in the China bubble if you’re American where you miss all the noise and buzz of US-style democracy, from yard signs to interminable TV commercials to the relative ease with which folks slip in to talk of politics. In China, hell, well, you know… why bother?

    Lack of media censorship is a related one… though it’s often really nice to be in the bubble here… I personally waste a lot less time on Facebook and all that kinda stuff, even with a VPN.

    Anyway, nice piece.

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