Rather shocking news as reported by Xinhaha earlier today:

lamahu01.jpgBEIJING, March 31 (Xinhaha) — After allegations by Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao earlier this month that the Dalai Lama and his supporters were directly responsible for the recent violent insurgence in Lhasa and other parts of Tibet, a surprise announcement was made Tuesday that the Dalai Lama had met with Chinese President Hu Jintao in an effort to reconcile with the government in Beijing.

The visit to the nation’s capital represents the first time in nearly 40 years that the Dalai Lama has entered China, having left the country in 1959 to pursue an interest in the arts and a desire to obtain the Nobel Peace Prize. In front of an intrigued crowd, Hu called the event “a milestone on the pathway to a harmonious society.”

Speaking to reporters, the Dalai Lama stated, “I welcome this opportunity to begin, finally, the healing process between Tibet and the rest of China. I only wish we had begun sooner, as I rather dislike curry.”

Also on hand was Qiangba Puncog, Chairman of the Tibet Autonomous Region government, who introduced the Dalai Lama as a “true friend of China” and apologized for any negative remarks he had made about the peaceful spiritual leader in the past. “Things I may, or may not, have said prior to this glorious day were, or may have been, out of harmony with my actual beliefs. I am a Tibetan, of course I love the Dalai Lama. I need all the karma I can get.”

lamahu02.jpgAfter the public appearance, President Hu and the Dalai Lama began an official dialog of reconciliation whereby China agreed to allow the Tibetan spiritual and cultural leader return to his homeland under the stipulation that he would publicly announce he has no intentions of independence, but only autonomy and that he would endorse the creation of Lamaland Theme Park™.

In turn, the Dalai Lama asked for reassurances that none of his followers would be retroactively punished for their dissension over the years, and that all ethnic Han Chinese in Tibet would stop pretending to be Tibetans in an effort to cheat foreign tourists.

His Holiness concluded talks with Hu saying, “Liberation, subjugation. It’s about time we call the whole thing off.”


  1. sorry i saw it after i pressed the submit button that i typed wrong,i meant faker…
    anyway in this period seems to be a manipulated news race between western media and chinese one:the last pic of those military carrying monks dresses which has been broacasted as the prove that the army was involved in the riot…
    that was really a pathetic fiasco

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  3. fuck you dalai lama, don’t kiding, every thing could be good but you never could be a mann, you just a women. fucker

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  5. There was not one point where I laughed reading this. It is not funny and you’re photo-shopping skills are on the level of my blind grandmother’s. No we cannot be friends. Die, in a fire, slowly and passionately.

    I will now take one internet from you, for you do not deserve it.

  6. LOL wow I’m glad somebody commented on this, I hadn’t seen it before. Hilarious. Of course the CCP would never do anything as reasonable as this. They would never concede to a man who preaches nothing but peace and love. It’s funny when they accuse him of inciting violence. A while back, a guy was released after 30 years of prison for nothing more than not being Han. He wanted to engage in terrorist acts and bomb some people. After the Dalai Lama talked to him, he changed his mind and decided to forgive and forget.

    I’ve heard Chinese folk say they “hate” the Lama. Why? Is it because he doesn’t fit in with their brainwashed concept of a united China? Just let it be. Tibet is not part of China. It wasn’t until 60 years ago that Chinese folk even considered it such, when Chinese military invaded a peaceful nation and shot a bunch of unarmed people. Yes, it happened. No, they didn’t agree to join China. Ever. You can say that Tibet can’t survive in the international community without China, that’s true. I don’t know what they would trade for things like oil–beads and yak milk? I don’t think I’m going out on a limb, though, when I say we all know why their development has been as such.

    btw–What the hell does “I will now take one internet from you” mean? I’m an English teacher in China so I’m pretty good at translating Chinglish, but I can’t figure this one out.

    • Haha, I was researching information for my college course and stumbled upon this rediculous article. I enjoyed your input and would like to know if it would be possible for me to contact you on behalf of my research into Chinese nationalism fueling the distaste for Tibet (as you are an English teacher in China).

      ps – The giving and taking of “an internet” is a rediculous internet meme (apparently only present in America) created to commemorate a good or bad post. http://freshfunnypictures.com/funny-pictures/3937/internet-ticket.jpg

      • I don’t know how I would be of any use in said research, as I am a foreigner. I only know what I have found in my own research. You can talk to me on this website, but I don’t give out my personal information here. I would only say that I prefer to stress the difference between patriotism and nationalism, the former being an admirable trait, and the latter being a dangerous one.

        I’ve never heard the “giving an internet” term but I would have to give this post a few internets. I found it funny and poignant.

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