Salutations! I believe a short introduction in order before we engage in relations. Entirely platonic, I assure you. I have nothing but the most noble intentions for the readers here at LLW.
I’m the new jerk! Fink, a Laowai who is most definitely Lost without a road map, currently wandering through the streets of Shanghai. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Pleasantries out of the way, shall we begin? Have a seat in my internets. As I assure most of my companions, my performance will be brief.
For my inaugural post, I’ve chosen to serve up fare slightly less shallow than what I’m traditionally known for. Not to worry, I assure you it still involves plenty of chauvinism and  arrogance. I consider them motifs which become stronger and more viable with repetition.
I want to complain about Chinese girls.
Or maybe it’s just Shanghai girls. I’d like to claim expertise on the subject of ladies, and I will. Granted my claim holds no merit as I am actually completely lost when it comes to the fairer sex; this does not stop me from claiming it. I think this should count for something.
I’d be lying to you if I said this topic was original, or that it has yet to be addressed properly. To a certain extent, it has. I’m ranting here purely because it’s on my mind, and I want to hear what people not in glossy Shanghai have to say. (That’s me politely commanding you to leave a comment. I require approval from the masses just as most of you require oxygen.)
There is a stigma, I’m sure most of you will concur, that the young male foreigners in China are “playboys”. I put this in quotes not because it means something different here than it normally does, but because I hear it constantly, and I am quite literally quoting the masses. I’m not sure exactly how this phrase became so widespread (back home we prefer “man-whore”), but almost everywhere I see this topic discussed, I see this word magically appear as if summoned by an unseen hand.
Back to the discussion…
I hoped we would be past this by now. I hoped that we were in the information age, and that people would have, you know, information.
My hopes have been crushed.
And they are repeatedly crushed with every new encounter involving a nice young Chinese lass. In almost all cases (I generally don’t find out until later though), as soon as I say I’m from The States it is assumed I am here for the sole purpose of… ahem… ‘dating’ – as many girls as possible.
Already I’m sure a good portion of you reading this are assuming I spend most of my time at clubs so drunk that I’m confused as to why my hair has gone completely numb. You’re right, but it’s most of my time, not all of it. So believe me when I say that the issue exists outside of the drunken stupor I call ‘the weekend’. I assume that like most stereotypes, this one finds it’s origins somewhat rooted in truth. Understandable, there’s a lot of jackasses out here. My biggest issue is not that this is the first impression I give, but almost always the final one. I am completely unable to persuade public opinion that while I am a raging alcoholic who genuinely believes he is of divine descent, that I do not wake up in a different bed with each new day.
Stereotypes take time to break down, I understand that. But I don’t consider myself to be dealing with ignorant or conditioned people; they’re almost exclusively young and imaginative. I suppose it could be an issue with my pool of data, that any girl who would even take the time to talk with a foreigner is already assuming (and seeking) this type. I hope this is not the case.
Then again, I’ve hoped before. We saw what happened there.
This does not stop me from hoping though. Here I hope to get comments on this post. Mainly to feed my ego. After I’m done feasting though, perhaps I can scavenge some insight from a new audience (a China wide one) on why this is, if it’s a Shanghai specific issue, or if I’m just doing it wrong.
Still, if this post can be used as an indicator, I like talking about myself more than anything else which could possibly be of service to humanity. And I love servicing. There is, because of this, the distinct possibility that I’m also not giving these lady-friends of mine a chance to get to know me. This should be any woman’s right/privilege. But you reader, if you cared at all about me, you wouldn’t already be planning your snide comment about how I probably really am a playboy posting here to try to pull the proverbial wool over some nice lady’s eyes.
Thanks for blowing my cover.
~fink
Ladies and gentlemen, the new Victor Mair has arrived. Sinologists, hold on to your hats!
You should really think of the whole person (Girl) and her situation, and the damage you can do to her, not only in her family life, but to the way other people look at her for going with a foreigner, no Chinese man will want them, and because they are not virgins anymore, getting married to a Chinese man is very difficult, if not impossible. So for a little fun on your part, their lives are ruined. If you use these young girls for just sex, and with no intentions of taking it any further, and they really do believe you will take them to a better life than they have, but don’t, what’s left for them afterwards? For the foreign men who really do adore the Chinese women they have, kudos to you, and may happiness always be with you and her forever.
Lestere has summed this up quite consisely. Shanghai and many other cities appear to be modern but the overwhelming majority of people are really conservative. The local bookshops where i am based have few English books and the only ones I have been able to buy are pre 20th Century novels. Whilst reading them, I have draw parallels with the thoughts of westerners at this period and thoses of the Chinese now. This is a nice quote from Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice”:
‘Loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable; that one false step involves her in endless ruin; that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful; and that she cannot be too much guarded in her behaviour towards the undeserving of the other sex. ‘
Duncan: Can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not… So I’ll just assume you’re complimenting me
Lestere: I don’t think you’re addressing me directly with your post are you? I think we’re close to being on the same page here, just looking at it from different perspectives. What I’m getting from from your post is that you think girls should not be messing around with foreign guys who are just looking for sex. I can’t say I agree completely because what these girls want to do really doesn’t matter to me; EXCEPT: that these assholes who are encouraging the behavior are making it hard for me to find a decent girl.
丹妮 and Lestere, I hope you don’t mind me asking if you are both native Chinese? You seem to be speaking with the tone of an insider so I’m just curious. If it is how you say it is, then I think my guess about who is willing to converse with me is correct. Only a certain type of girl, generally a “bad girl”, will be willing to talk to a Laowai like myself…
If that’s true, that’s sad D:
Fink, it sounds to me like you want to get laid and also be considered a nice guy. Good luck with that.
And, some advice: if you really are interested in a serious relationship, stop hanging out in bars. In any country.
But honestly, if you were a young Chinese woman, would you see any future in a young laowai guy? At the very least, it would take a lot of convincing. For instance, are you working very hard to become fluent in Chinese? Do you have future career plans that include living in China?
@Guidu: I think we’re all trying to get laid… I think the fact that I haven’t lends at least a little credence to my post. I’m not physically deformed, so something else is up.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to bars to pick up girls. If I was, this post would be ridiculous… I guess it sort of is anyways, but that’s not the point.
Working hard at becoming fluent? I spent 4 years in college learning (along with Chinese history and literature, I’m a Lost Laowai, not an ignorant one), I’ve traveled to China multiple times (5?) for both training in martial arts and studying/touring, and I’m here now for at least 6 months (internship). I could’ve worked harder I suppose, but that involves studying abroad and more years in school, which was simply not an option.
I’m working here, and I’m planning on staying here. I even purposefully turned down higher paying English Teaching jobs because I wanted something where I could make connections and really try to start a career. I’m a complete asshole sometimes…most of the time… but that has no bearing on my commitment to becoming rich and famous. Actually, I think they complement each other quite nicely.
I’ve offered you the same information I’ve offered – well, everyone – and you’re probably not convinced. We’re back to the source of my post. Or perhaps I’m jumping to conclusions, and you have come to believe and pity me! Do not, I’m still awesome.
The only advice I’ve received that seems to at least lead to a conclusion besides “tough luck” is to go home with a different girl every night until I’m 30 and proven that I want to live here (thanks shanghaiexpat, the only place more shallow than my soul). My issue: I don’t plan on making it to 30.
Keep the comments coming! Discussion is fun; but pointless if you guys drop by, let me respond, then go on your way. I pine for your attention. As I mentioned previously, it is a required source of nutrition for me.
I’ll bite. What a colossal tit…if such as yourself considers himself one of the ‘better’ laowai…is it any wonder foreigners only attract the type of Chinese girl who is after…as you seem to be suggesting…a dicking? Try decreasing the narcissism a touch.
@Boris: Better’s not really the topic at hand here… And there’s no need for hostility or name calling. Let’s be civil, yes?
I’m trying to get a grasp on your argument here and I must admit, I’m failing miserably. Not a familiar feeling.
Are you trying to say that because I consider myself a prime candidate for a decent girl, that this some how affects the type of girls that all foreigners attract?
Or that I attract?
Or are you claiming that I am entirely wrong in my assessment of the young Chinese female population, and that “decreasing the narcissism a touch” is the remedy?
I’m unclear as to what exactly I’m supposed to respond to. Did you just want to call me a boob?
Lawl, asshole….
@Lestere the problem with that view seems to be that if you intend to date a girl at all, it right in line for marriage. The concept of dating in China blows my mind in that if you date you will get married. Maybe it is the huge western outlook for me where i’d like to get to know a girl through dating, but that isn’t an option.
@OP
As soon as I have said I’m from the states, I get the playboy stereotype regardless of how i look and sound… and i’ll be damned if anyone could guess that I wasn’t from around China. It’s seems to be a misconception all over where some girls are really just looking to play the field or find a nice hubby since age is a problem. This seems to be from all parts of life from the educated(undergrad, post-grads, PHD students) to the working girls. Everyone seems to have an agenda pre-made.
WOOOWWWWWWWWW… u weren’t kidding about u’r g-mail status! LOL! Good luck buddy!!! I need to get to Shanghai for a vacation n see what this is all about 😛 How long u planning on stayin??
Neeon makes a good point that dating shouldn’t necessarily lead to marriage. Is the general Chinese populous really so conservative that a man won’t consider a non-virgin? I think Fink just needs to stop dancing so damn much ;).
Boris sounds like a cross between Ricky Gervais and Jason Lee. Stay up Fink!
Hey Fink, I didn’t mean any disrespect towards you or anyone man, just my own observations of Chinese culture and women I know that’s all. Have a great day, and most of all enjoy the life.
@Neeon and WhiteDave: Maybe this is an issue… Marriage scares me like H1N1 cross breeding with herpes. Also, I think the answer to your question regarding non-virgins is like most things in China: There’s what you’re supposed to say, and there’s the reality you have to deal with on the ground. Men will claim they require a virgin for marriage, until 35 starts coming ’round the bend and they have yet to find one.
@Lestere: No worries! The use of the word “you” just confused me a little as it seemed like we were actually agreeing on more than a couple points.
@Dmach: Find me on Gchat -.- lol.
i am officially a fan of you finkï¼ lol， and get used to the hostility on the Internet.
ohhh, about this “because they are not virgins anymore, getting married to a Chinese man is very difficult, if not impossible.” from lestere, either you are from grand grand grand.. parents generation, or you just live for your future husband who is probably a dumbass. live a life for yourself and stop spreading the stereotypes to doesn’t know alot about China.
@intangible
That may be the past generation, but there are many Chinese people who do “believe” that. You have to remember the China and the Chinese people pride themselves on years and years of tradition. Which in turn leads to this epidemic of “problems” seen by westerners like having a girl who you dont wanna see wait for you outside your place for two and a half hours…. socially unacceptable in the states, but i’ve heard plenty of these occurrences in china.
Add this to the need and desire to follow social norms and to not stand out, you get some girls who follow the film industry and find western guys should act like they do in movies and romance should follow that mindset. /rant
What the other way around? Us laowai girls need love, too! This is my third time in China, and I had NO IDEA it would be so hard to find a Chinese boyfriend/FWB. I’ve been in China for two months so far, and no fish are biting. It could also just be that not too many Chinese guys seem to hang out in bars in Harbin – maybe it’s different in other cities (I don’t have a huge amount of experience – the longest time I’ve ever been in China was 8 weeks, so I haven’t had a lot of time to go searching). Before I came here, though, I had no idea how shy Chinese guys can be.
When I spent some time in Shanghai over the summer, though, it struck me how overwhelmingly in mixed-race couples the wife was Chinese. I don’t think I saw a single mixed-race couple with a Chinese guy. It made me think, “If this is the case, how the hell am I supposed to get laid here? Don’t Chinese guys like Western girls?”
Hey Dena, I see your post was a little while ago now… but if you want some lovin’ then hop on the train for a bit and head to Changchun. Go to the right places and I feel that Chinese guys want nothing more than to date foreign girls.
I’m back in the States now, but if I’m lucky enough to go back to China soon, I’ll definitely try to head up to Changchun and check out the guys there! 东北人 have a special place in my heart.
@Dena: My apologies! I did not mean to exclude, sometimes I just forget there are “gurlz” on the internet as well 🙂
It’s a fair point though. Maybe I’m getting approached by desperate girls not because they like foreigners, but they’re tired of typical shy Chinese guys like my new best friend Dena is. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen the other end of the spectrum as well with Chinese guys who were way too aggressive. It was hilarious for me, the girls were not nearly as amused. Most of these tend to be the “fat old rich dude” though, and they are obviously not looking for a relationship. There seems to be a serious lack of confident, young, professional males here. An issue that had not occurred to me…
Maybe I’ll complain about Chinese guys for my next LLW post. I’m confident it will go over twice as smooth as this one has.
@Fink:
Maybe I exaggerated a little bit about never being approached by a Chinese guy. I definitely had the experience of being approached by the fat, old guy in Nanjing. As soon as my friends and I stepped in the club, middle-aged men stared all at once saying, “O.K., hao, hao!” So we promptly turned around and left.
I still found it hard to find a hot young guy to dance with in Nanjing, but it happened once… Mostly, though, it seemed the girls were more interested in the foreigners than the guys were.
@Fink: Well done. I’d welcome you, but you seem to have settled right in, and there’s no sense in offering to take your coat when you’ve already raided the fridge 😉
@Lestere and 丹妮: I don’t disagree with the idea that as foreigners we need to consider our actions — just as anyone does. However, I don’t buy into the idea that we need to tread extra lightly lest we bring so much shame on a girl that she is forced to live her life caring for lepers in Guizhou for lack of being marriage material.
Unless you’re a dude that needs to lie to a girl to get laid, she’s making her own decisions, and should be given all the latitude in the world to do so. If she makes the wrong decisions, they’re hers to make, not ours to guard against.
And if she still wants to get married after fooling around with a bunch of foreigners, I’m sure she can manage to fake a bit of discomfort her “first time” with her husband.
@Neeon: I agree, that dating = marriage is archaic and is barely one step removed from arranged marriages.
The thing that isn’t really being covered in this thread is that China is changing, and as much as their are still loads of “traditional values” floating around this country, it’s rarely where young expats congregate.
Traditional values is a term of convenience. Ask a girl back home if she’s just looking to get fucked and forgotten. It’s not a “China” thing, it’s a common sense thing. Rare is the woman that is willing to paint herself in a casual light when it comes to sex.
But at the end of the day, everyone loves a good shag. And Chinese girls do too.
@Fink/Dena: The “Playboy” thing definitely has its female counterpart, as I suspect Dena’s all too aware of. Imagine if Western girls were really as easy as TV has made them seem in the collective consciousness of China — I’m willing to put 5 fen down on the guess that there’d be a lot less laowai in China.
@Dena: You should speak with Ericka, she seems to have some skillz in picking up Chinese men — at least one of them.
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@Ryan: Hope you don’t mind. I ate all the cake in said fridge. I’ll bring my own next time 🙂
I WANNA F*CK EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD!!!!
Fink, I hope you f*ck every girl in the world!
@Alan: Classy…. lol
@Dena I think that you raise a good point. Really, why are there so few foreign women with local men? I mean, it’s not just a China thing too, it seems to happen with expats from all over.
@ all of you
Lets look at a case study shall we:
I have two Chinese mates that are a fixture in the Laowai gang here in Xuzhou. One speaks amazing English, the other speaks amazing ‘dirty’ english and not much else – the cuurent foreign girls all tend to say ‘Ni Hao’ with the eloquence of a retarded 2 yr old. Neither of the two Chinese guys have had much difficultly getting one-nighters with said girls. The ability to communicate effectively or about anything more complex than asking as to whether the other person is full after dinner doesn’t seem a bigger issue in the dating/shagging game as one may imagine.
The ‘dirty english’ speaker, Mr ‘you’re as stinky as an anchoves c=+t’ has mentioned that him and some of his peers are somewhat worried at their inability to satisfy the western girls in the sack. Also the GENERAL impression I get from the western girls is that they don’t find asian man particularly attractive – though there are of course exceptions. Perhaps these two factors are contributing factors
The western girls that have indulged in the local produce, I think (and some have directly said), is more because of a lack of options on the western menu.
@ everyone
Now I want to bag a Chinese guy just to say I was able to.
I also think hearing everyone’s take on this is really, really interesting. I enjoy reading everyone’s comments, especially the long-term residents.
@Matt
I think that it’s true that generally speaking Western girls aren’t attracted to Chinese guys. Personally, I don’t see why Chinese guys should be ruled out. We’re in THEIR country, first of all. Secondly, the male-to-female ratio in China IS IN OUR FAVOR, so why restrict ourselves to only Westerners?
@Dena: Maybe you’ll find out after you land one hahahahaha.
Seriously though, not a clue….
One of the reasons I can think of for the stereotype perhaps is that laowais don’t have home here. In most stories, they are just posted in China for a short period in life and will ultimately return to the home country. The decent girls have concerns coz they know it’s not easy to build up that kind of relationship. The otherwise motivated, who often share the same mindset with the bar type playboys, successfully create “a western guy + an Asian girl couple” look in the streets.
I guess people just have seen too many relationships like this not staying long. And it so happened that westerners are known to be more open in sex, whereas Chinese take it more seriously/conservatively. When the two standards don’t converge, u’ll expect to see the labels coming out.
ps. don’t put too much weight on it (caring too much sounds like being stereotyped. just convey the message “i’m not one of the playboys”. =) )
I think I’ve fallen into this trap…
how many virgins they really can get married with their first men?how many virgin boys they can really get married with their first girl friends ? People they only pay attention on the man or the woman about their abilities for their jobs or their career positions that they can manage it successfully or not for their financial or material sakes, so you see when some movie stars perform the porn or the erotic movie in somewhere, then people still think it is amazing and so great and so honorable to people to enjoy it, even people can realize those porn movies are so meaningless and illiterate to make up them pretty in their lives, well, i mean people like their mates or friends who really can be rich or smart to talk or to be proud of and if people they find someone is a virgin but still needs his man to feed up for living, then someone maybe will just run away finally from some place, so thats why someone always gets together with his friends to meet his present girl friend for his realistic reasons, cause it can avoid his present girl friend being a thief and steal his money at same time, but when you lose your trust in your girl friend, then you should never invite your girl friend to date with you for those stupidity and sickness at Malone’s, I think.
anyway, i think the chinese traditional value is based on the value that we can realize it entirely it is just so popularly and very necessarily by its histories and ethoses and minorities that you can accord to it research the details by your decent comprehension.
Whatever you’re looking for, China’s got it. When it comes to girls, you can easily find the whole spectrum, from timid virgin to rampant sex fiend. Foreign dudes just need to recognize that like it or not, stereotypes about us are in place, and Chinese girls have their own ideas and expectations about relationships/lack thereof. The key is to remember that we are all people and deserve respect.
@ Nat – wtf, google translator still has a way to go…
@ MArk – nice one brother
I suggest a few requirements you consider if you choose to date a local lass in order minimise the potential of her having ulterior motives – unless yours are less than noble in which case you deserve what you get:
One is by dating a girl that is from a reasonably well-of background – thereby reducing the chance of getting one that is starry-eyed about life in the west with a white picket fence and 2 cars included. The other is to choose one which has had a fair amount of previous contact with foreigners (you know what I mean) – this is so as to better ensure she isn’t choosing you out of novelty value. The last one is that she has a reasonable to good education so that down the track you have the possibillity of her being employable back in your home country if the need arises.
Sure many great girls meet none of these requirements, but why not do some pre-emptive risk minimisation?….the one true love thing is a crock of shit.
It’s well known amoung chinese guys that girls are experts at telling you what you want to hear – I’ve had a mate tell me word for word what a previous girl friend said under particular situations before I got the words out my mouth – hilarious yet disturbing at the same time. Keep that in mind in the pre-commited relationship phase.
If from the outset you just want a girlfriend to help kill the time in China – good luck finding a girl that agrees to that (though as Mark said there is the whole spectrum out there). I suggest don’t bullshit a girl and tell her what she wants to her; instead be noble enough to visit the bathhouse! 🙂
Fink, I know someone wants me to pay for his date or his marriage, but I will never pay it, cause that brazilian always destroys my computer and can ma from shexpat, so why should I pay him for those meaningless meetings? I never use google translation tools and you actually just are very negative when you get nothing from those chinese girls !
i don’t like people to tell me what i should do or what i need to do when i date with someone seriously at elsewhere, i neither like people to look at me and see how do i date with someone awfully by those embarrassing moments, cause i wanna get my privacy privately and personally by my own way ! I am not the tool that just can be used by someone his insane stupidity, i know that bald brazilian man always takes his girl friends to show off his sex prey in front of all his friends in those pubs or restaurants- especially that bald brazilian man his former american girl friend, so i totally dislike it and i don’t wanna be that kind idiot to suffer it from a fool, so i hope someone can understand it now!
Nat， 真对ä¸èµ·ã€‚我ä¸æ˜Žç™½ä½ çš„æ„æ€ã€‚ä½ è®©æˆ‘ä»¬æœ‰ç‚¹å›°æƒ‘ – ä½ è¦è¯´ç®€å•è‹±æ–‡å§
so bad,no one understand my english. Ok, I mean I hope my privacy or when i date with someone, I can have my own way to do it privately and personally in somewhere.
I am a simple shanghai woman, so I hope everything i can simplify it when i manage my issues personally at some places. i am not rich, so maybe you will be upset when you can’t get million dollars from a shanghai 30 years old woman. So that’s why i always behave myself as a fool at shanghaiexpat.
I feel for both genders it can be frustrating that you have to prove your income, social status, length of time in China and all that just to have a dinner date.
Lena, I completely understand. I find Asian men attractive, but even after living in Shanghai for two solid years I have yet to have one single regular date with a guy. I have never even kissed or held hands with a local guy. It’s either guys who say they can’t date me because I make more money than them or they think my status is higher in general, or it’s just guys (who often turn out to be married or engaged) who just want to try having sex with a foreign girl, so they immediately try to take me somewhere for sex. Chinese guys think I won’t make a good wife, so I’m not worth dating, or they just want me for sex, or Western guys want to date me because they like my personality, but have sex with Asian girls on the side.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe I’m going to live in China for three years and not have a date with any local guys, especially when Western guys can have a date with a Chinese girl every night of the week!
Hello Fink,
Your writing style is great and amusing. Therefore I will incorporate reading and analyzing your posts into my daily English learning schedule.
About the playboy thing… personally I started to embrace it at some point instead of fighting it. The results are quite amusing.
I am so stupid, so i never wanna fool around myself for that love or sex fuss, yeah, over ! You gotta the man to love or fcuk with, i gotta the time and knowledge to run my favor business strategy, yeah !
people banned me again from shexpat, but i could not understand the reason for why people wanna fool me such stubbornly? You see i never ask people to pay for me when i meet them in Malonens or those coffee meetings and all that anniversary parties, so what the hell they treat me such illiterately in here? I never ask someone to celebrate my birthday in winters,but silly always wish me to join his childish friends’ birthday fuss in all those decembers, so i now can do nothing for that bald brazilian man, i hardly can trust him by all that bald brazilian his all insane behaviors, so i hope that man can find a real sexy horny girl to sleep with,bye !
bored, i just came here and tried to practice my poor english together with you guys for fun and i could understand my english totally so crap,lol, i gotta kill myself for that now,boring !
what does fuss mean ? You know my birthday i always gonna celebrate it in every 11th of December-12-11, but some people always wanna change my birth and they also wanna celebrate my birthday by their great and royal domination or management,well, I just don’t know the reason of that reasonably by myself, maybe I am just too slum fool and poor, I guess.
Nat
跟这个è¯é¢˜ä½ å‘的帖å到底有什么关系？？我们æ¥åˆ°è¿™ä¸ªè®ºå›çš„åŽŸå› å¹¶ä¸æ˜¯ä¸ºäº†å¸®ä½ å¦è‹±è¯ã€‚ 知é“了å—ï¼Ÿæˆ‘ä»¬æ¬¢è¿Žä½ æ¥å‚与ä¸è¿‡åˆ«è¿‡äºŽè·‘题， 好å§
Matt
é¡ºä¾¿è¯´ä¸€å¥ – 别当真
I’ve dated some Chinese guys and slept with others…and the complications went far beyond (mis)perceptions of what was going on or miscommunications (everything from telling me they’d meet me in an hour and then banging another Chinese girl they’d managed to hook up within that time period to falling off the face of the earth for 2 weeks and then calling my mobile 20 times per day–no exaggeration). The main problem always seemed to be that I was “too independent” as a foreign/western girl. It wasn’t so much my sexual compatability with any of them, as I was always satisfied, but I guess I was never submissive enough–they would end up terribly offended if, say, I wanted to initiate anything or change positions in the middle of …er… things ;).
I am not really practicing my english together with you guys through this specching platform, I thought I just tried to avoid some troubles in here but my idea about solving my case it maybe was wrong,well, I know I am not totally a real mature woman, I sometimes when I behave something it may also very naive or childish, but I will try to balance it by my serious movement, thanks so much for reading ! Anyway, I never wanna grab or dig the treasures from others or that brazilian man, I love him, but I think my love is not as luxurious as my brazilian man.
I’ve been in love with my chinese best friend for two years now and he’s not into me! Why? He tell ms I’m charming and attractive but that is not enough! Because as an American girl I can only speak decent mandarin, but he wants his gf or wife to speak shanghainese!
so you think your man really worth you to learn the shanghainese for him or not, May I ask? If someone asks me about i will sex with him or not, then i will ask myself that some man really worth me to satisfy his requirement seriously by myself, i maybe am not rich, but i know what kind of man that i really off to talk with reasonably by myself. I will trust my man if my man also can pay the same responsibility literately by himself, when yourself and your man you both get the trusts from each other, then you can do whatever the thing for both of you in your rests and when you get the key to open up your man or your girls’ hearts, then you can get all you want honestly and confidently from the person you love directly from somewhere.
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