Let’s play I-Spy in China!

Here’s a variation on the common “I spy” game, which might already be familiar to anyone who grew up in Britain and knows the ‘I-SPY’ children’s book series, such as ‘I-SPY in the Street’, ‘I-SPY Cars’, and the more curiously named ‘I-SPY People in Uniform’.

These heart-warmingly innocent books encouraged children to keep their eyes wide open to spot various sights. Best played in conjunction with others, the books could be used to form an informal competition as to who could spot the greatest number of sights mentioned in a particular book.

Thus a book such as ‘I-SPY on the Road’ could turn a boring car journey into hours of healthy banter and competition, attempting to spot as many of the illustrated sights as possible, as the scenery outside whizzes by.

So, to get to the point, let’s have a bash at an ad-hoc game of ‘I-SPY the Sights of China’, to re-awaken one’s jaded eyes and get a re-freshened look at the interesting sights to be seen even on an average working day. The list of sights is, potentially, almost limitless, so feel free to add to the list, below. I’ll also assign points to each sight, on a sliding scale or ‘rarity’ from 100 (a very rare sight) down to 1 (a quite common sight). Needless to say, some curious sights are so common as to be rendered, erm…, point-less.

For example, seeing a foreigner with a Chinese girl or woman is quite common in the cities, so it would merit only 10 points. However, seeing a foreign woman partnered with a Chinese man is pretty damn rare, so it would net you a whopping 70 points. See how it works, yet?

One further example, the ubiquitous CCCHHHHHYYYYUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRR *splat* of ejected phlegm is so common as to score zero points, so I won’t even list it below. In contrast, if you spot a car that stops at a ‘zebra crossing’ to willingly allow pedestrians to cross the road, you would score a hefty 85 points, and also suffer a case of shock, presumably.

OK, here’s my initial ‘I-SPY the Sights of China’ list. Please feel free to submit you own sights (with a corresponding score), and also submit your daily scores. No cheating please. Daily highest scores will win 100 internets.

A foreign man partnered with a Chinese girl or woman of similar age, 10 points
A foreign man partnered with a much younger Chinese girl, 25 points
A foreign woman partnered with a Chinese man, 70 points
A gay or lesbian couple of any nationality, 95 points
A foreign man wearing sandals with socks, 15 points
A very drunk foreigner puking on the street, 25 points

A very drunk Chinese guy puking in broad daylight, 15 points
A DVD shop that has ‘closed down’ for a few days because there’s some VIP in the city, 5 points
A brothel that has ‘closed down’ for a few days because there’s some VIP in the city, 5 points
A DVD available on the street before it has premiered in America, 5 points

A “watch, shoes, DVDs” hawker with pretty good pronunciation, 60 points
A man carrying at least 50kg of junk strapped to the back of his bike, 20 points
4 people on an electric bike, 15 points
5 people on a motorbike, 25 points

The ‘Great Wall of Stupidity’ when people on the platform block the subway doors as they rush to get in before you can even get out of the carriage, 5 points
A queue-jumper, 1 point
A queue-jumper who notices their mistake, apologises profusely, then moves to the back of the queue, 75 points
A car willingly stops at a ‘zebra crossing’ to allow pedestrians to cross the road, 85 points
A traffic warden that people actually listen to, 75 points

Someone smoking in a no-smoking zone, 15 points
Someone smoking in an elevator, 25 points
A doctor smoking as he examines you, 55 points
A doctor smoking as he delivers a baby, 80 points

A taxi driver who obeys most road regulations, 75 points
A taxi journey in which your cab doesn’t nearly waste at least 3 people, 45 points

A computer that has a genuine copy of Windows XP installed on it, 50 points
A computer in a ‘net bar’ that doesn’t crash at least 2 times an hour, 15 points
A ‘net bar’ that has humanly breathable air, 25 points

Seeing the sun and a blue sky in a small Chinese city, 20 points
Seeing the sun and a blue sky in Shanghai, 30 points
Seeing the sun and a blue sky in Beijing, 50 points

And the list could go on… As mentioned before, feel free to put your own sights in the comments, or tally-up your daily scores.