More Monopoly Money, Please

– It’s a damn good thing that I live in a city where the accepted legal tender is basically Monopoly money, because finance gives me the heebie jeebies. It always has. My pre-adolescent lemonade stands went bankrupt, the last time I balanced a checkbook was during a particularly awesome round of hacky-sack, and the merest whiff … Read More »

Open Mouth, Insert Time Zones

– I firmly believe that everyone has super powers. Even you. I have two. The first of my incredible edible talents is that my tongue has its own brain. Place me in front of a crowd of evangelicals, and I’ll find myself telling them that I think Harry Potter is stupid because I prefer my fiction … Read More »

Dance Dance Robotlution

– Sometimes, in China, people get bored. Look, I hate to be the one to burst your tiny ethnocentric, Sinopheliac bubble, but after the first three months of requisite ooh-ing and ah-ing at all the Culture™, you’ve had your fill of berry-faced beggar children and all you want is a cup of hot chocolate and some … Read More »

This is Not About Music.

– Go ahead. Point to the indoor ice-skating rinks. Lavish praise upon the successful Olympic bid. Dry hump the glittering puddles of architectural vomit that Riken Yamamoto has sprinkled throughout our fair town. For most of the post-adolescent, fist-pumping contingent of Beijing‘s expat community (in whose meticulously coifed ranks I stand coolly detached. In expensive pants.), … Read More »

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